Introduction

     All my life I was told sex was a something that you had to do to be beautiful. It was required of a woman. It was our job and duty to give men what they wanted. To please and satisfy them. I grew up believing that this was the right way. That it wasn't meant for me. If it felt good, it was wrong. If I enjoyed it, I was doing something wrong. Sex was wrong if he wasn't happy and complete.

    That's how I learned to treat sex and myself. Like an object. But now I know better. Sex does feel good! It's supposed to feel good! And most importantly, sex isn't just about him but about you too. It's not just a man's thing. It's a HUMAN thing! 

    It took me years to learn this. Clear up into adulthood. I always treated myself like an object. I didn't have respect for myself when it came to sex. I would let the man do what they wanted. You see I lost my virginity when I was really young. And I'm talking about willing lost it not when it was taken from me by my abusers but when I initiated it. When it was something I wanted to do and not something that was being forced on me. I was 12. I was having sex long before this. But it wasn't willing. My stepdad and bio mom had sex with me for years. I had sex with boyfriends that were older than me and even when I said no, it would still happen. 

    You see I was 15 years old the first time I had sex and really had sex and that was with a woman. 18 years with a man. Now you are probably wondering what I mean by really had sex. I mean it was about me. It wasn't about pleasing the other person and just laying there taking it. It was sensual and nice. It was pleasing for BOTH of us. I was touched and treated like a human; like a woman, not like a toy.

    I believe sex, as a topic comes with many opinions. Everyone has their own ideas on sex and what is or isn't okay. For example. Some people like, encourage, and enjoy porn, while others don't. Some people are into bondage and others aren't. And some people can't talk about sex or mention the words penis or vagina while others make it a part of their daily conversations or even jobs. 

    That's what I've learned to do. Accept sex, and let it into my life for me! Not for the other person or for the people who taught me what they believed in but because of what I've learned and what I believe in.

    No one should dictate your sex life. No one should tell you what is right or wrong. And honestly, no one as the right to judge you for what you do in your sex life. That is up to you! Because sex is about you. If you are having it then you do what you feel is best for you and the other person involved. 

     Don't let others tell you how to live your life. Sex is an amazing thing. It's fun, sexy and yes it feels absolutely amazing. But only if you are doing what YOU like. Not what you were taught was right or wrong. Not because someone told you that bondage was a sin or not natural. Not because someone said porn is nasty and shouldn't be consumed. Not because someone said that masturbation is wrong because you are being selfish. Because none of that is true unless you, and you alone believe that it's true.

    Sex is a whole new world of discoveries and truths. No one knows that 'world' better than you do. So you live it how you want. Do what you like, what makes you comfortable. And don't be ashamed of what others might think. It's your own world to live in. And who you choose to have in it with you is up to you. Sex is beautiful but it doesn't make you beautiful. You make it beautiful!